Music was a lifeline for my father and his most constant tool in accessing and expressing his emotions, so he and I listened to Trio Radio on Spotify for hours. I prayed. I cried and sang. Dad drew breath. His breaths slowed achingly toward ceasing well past dark when, for just an instant, as the end was very near, a panic consumed me.
“This is not the one! You cannot die to this song!”
Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch and try to come alive
Dolly belting out 9 to 5, decades having passed since earning his living. Another breath. Another song. Relieved. Remembering how much he loved this song, how it reminded him of mom. I was ready now, for a moment, forgetting this wasn’t about me.
I feel so bad I got a worried mind
I'm so lonesome all the time
Since I left my baby behind
On Blue Bayou
Another breath… and another.
Hobo’s Meditation begins. By then, the nurse was standing opposite me, beside my Dad, under the monitors. I took a breath to listen to what Dad had to say.
Last night as I lay on the boxcar
Just waiting for a train to pass by
What will become of the hobo
Whenever his time comes to die?
autumn sky …
last 3 songs echo off
a life in 3 acts
Author’s note: The 3 italicized verses are lyrics from the following songs: Tumble out… (From 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton); I feel so bad … (From Blue Bayou by Roy Orbison and Joe Melson, performed by Linda Ronstadt) and Last night … (From Hobo’s Meditation by Jimmie Rodgers and performed by Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris.)